:[ ?

Is it not human instinct to show your affection and care to another individual you care for? Is it not natural to want to care or think about that person? If not, please explain to me why and why not. I really cannot comprehend that idea that it is not true. Internal affection peeks through one's actions in any form or way.

*sigh* no more thinking
Just let it be and let it go
Try not to care so much anymore and see how things go

i don't have anymore to say . . . :[

hobby

Life is full of ups and downs, unexpected twist and turns, and surprises. Overcoming a pessimistic attitude toward life's adversities can be a life-long obstacle, but once we have successfully achieved that optimistic mind-set, I can only imagine how self rewarding it can be. I am simultaneously learning to live life to its fullest on a day-to-day basis, as well as appreciating what is given to me in life. I realized as I get older, life feels like it is rewinding back in time to the point when I was once a baby learning to take things (life) one step at a time. I enjoy taking the time to reflect and analyze my life. Although, I do tend to over analyze life to the point that it becomes unhealthy, which affects my emotions by making me feel overwhelmed and depressed. I guess you can say this is a WEIRD. STRANGE. ABNORMAL. hobby of mine, THINKING. I realized that there are very few people in my life that TRULY and SINCERELY give me the chance to EXPRESS my thoughts and take the time to really LISTEN; moreover, give me their feedback on what I am PONDERING about in life. Thank you to all of those who sincerely RESPECT and VALUE my insights and perspective.

Sometimes allowing things to be and just learning to live a CAREFREE and STRESS FREE mindset can make a difference in one's daily mood, which in my case can be effective in reducing STRESS. SADNESS. DEPRESSION. ANXIETY... The question is HOW? How do I learn to master this skill in living a carefree and stress free lifestyle when there is so much grief and melancholy that is around this world? What can I do? Help me please. Any suggestions? Comments? Feedback?

I would add more to this post, unfortunately I am dead TIRED & my eyes are beginning to shut on me =_____=;

what can you say? what can you do?

What can you say? What can you do? We NEVER ALWAYS get what we WANT. That is just life. Even if you tried your hardest to achieve to work things out your results may not EQUATE to the amount of EFFORT or DEDICATION you have invested in making it successful. What can you say? What can you do? You have already done all that you can do. What now? Give up? Surrender? Let it be? Let it go? What should I do? Life is too short to relive every lost opportunity. I guess one of my OPTIONS is to LEARN how to deal with life as it is. I know this is a very challenging task to me because it is MY human nature to try to avoid ALL DISASTERS, but we all know that is IMPOSSIBLE. I just have to accept the fact that I cannot always TRY to INTERVENE the nature of TIME, PURPOSE, REASON, AMBIGUITIES, . . . Life is life. What can you say? What can you do?

This is one TOUGH journey. LEARNING to DEAL with life as it is. Straying away from the FANTASY world and snapping back in to REALITY can be frightening. Many times I feel LOST, INSECURE, ALONE, and even sometimes TOO ANALYTICAL to the point that it drives me INSANE. Yes, THINKING is HEALTHY, but OVER ANALYZING, REFLECTING, THINKING . . . can be DANGEROUS. RISKY. OVERWHELMING. In a way, I guess, me always OVER THINKING things allow me to STEP-BACK and try to see the OVERALL PICTURE in LIFE and just try to UNDERSTAND every SHAPE, COLOR, SIZE, LIGHTENING, SHADOW, CONTEXT, TEXTURE . . . of LIFE and try to make the BEST out of it, even if it is DEPRESSING to see the things I have never seen before.

This is my time. My OPPORTUNITY to LOOK at LIFE in a POSITIVE LIGHT of DIRECTION, while I am still young. I am afraid one day my THINKING will CONSUME me and take me away from the real person I am inside. Deep down inside there is a KID, me, who is not ready to ACCEPT the terms of REALITY. I want to keep that INNOCENT and PURE PERSPECTIVE as a CHILD. I don't want to be CORRUPTED by SOCIETY'S STANDARDS & LIFE EXPECTATIONS. I want to be HAPPY. A happy child who can see every thing in life with a LIGHT of HOPE and JOY as I grow OLDER & MATURE. Yes, I know we all have to GROW UP and be an ADULT in some time and point in life, but I NEVER want to LOSE that INNOCENT, PURE, and JOYFUL mind as a child.

I am not saying that I am not MATURE. May be this is my opinion, but I think that I am too MATURE for my age in some things in life. *sigh* What can I say? What can I do? Life is life. Just have to deal with it :[

even greater passion

I had such a wonderful weekend! I am even more fire up about Jumpstart! I made new friends and bonded with other team leaders and other Jumpstart members from our western region :D. It was such a wonderful experience :]. What a great way to start the year and building an even greater passion for Jumpstart! Woohooo! Yay! Wonderful wonderful experience! Everything in the beginning was so sudden and overwhelming, but after attending this SLI training leadership conference I feel a little bit more confident and a little bit more prepare for Jumpstart even if I am entirely new to Jumpstart's program.

From the day I applied for Jumpstart I always had the passion in me. This 3 day conference training really encouraged me to work harder and set a good example to my corp. members. Not only did i learn how to become a better and professional leader, but I also acquired other valuable skills, such as a manager, coach, & observer ( '4 hats that we, Team Leaders, have to be able to interchangably & simultaneously wear at all times' - - 1st hat is a given: leader, so i didn't mention or include it in the list).

There was one particular trainer/mentore/role model that really inspired me to become the best that I can be as a Jumpstart Team Leader, and that inspirational individual's name is called Lygia! She is such an awesome speaker! Truly inspirational and entertaining just listening to her. I love Lygia's fun and engaging spirit that just somehow draws everyone's attention. Amazing! You're just going to have to hear and see her just to believe it. I want to have as much enthusiastic spirit and confidence as much as her one day :].

I know this semester is going to be very challenging juggling with 18 units of classes ontop of my practicum/internship - Jumpstart program and my evening night tutoring job, which is unfortunately not very stable :/. I guess I can't complain because in its way I get to use that time wisely to catch up and put that extra time I have in my studies. I have to be honest, I am scare about this semester. This is my very FIRST semester TRYING to do all this accomplishments all at ONCE O_O; can you SAY: OVERLOAD -_____-; I PRAY God that I will be able to MANAGE and survive all that I am doing this semester =x. Please help me God! MERCY please!

Oh my goodness! I forgot to mention that after our long day of training on Saturday. We all got to go to Disneyland :] ! YAY! it was so much fun! It was very exciting chatting with the rest of my peers about funny stories and personal stories. It really was a wonderful opportunity for all of us to bond and get to know each other in a free and fun evening. I was shocked how fast the lines went on a Saturday night. Honestly I would not mind standing and waiting in line because it was already fun chit-chatting and playing games with our peers x]. fun! fun! fun! We were inside the park from 7pm-disneyland closed. For once disney was empty xD. It was very nice having the feeling that the entire disneyland park was all to ourselves. Mmmm I was craving for ice cream, unfortunately before leaving disneyland we didn't get the chance to get some ice cream. Mmm speaking of ice cream, I have a craving for a vanilla ice cream cone from MickeyDee's xP. They have ONE of the BEST vanilla ice cream cones EVER! i love it!

Okayy, anywho, I better stop typing and rambling on and go finish my homework now -_____-;